The wait....

I have really tried to take a break from blogging, well not so much a break from my fellow bloggers, but more just the rumor mill. Now don't get me wrong, I find myself towards the middle of the month getting the shakes, feeling my fingers search the keyboard to track down my favorite groups and blogs for just a hint of a rumor....but basically I tried not to stay glued to my keyboard day in and day out. I was turning into a pod person or something.


I checked out my agency's group and saw how excited some people were about the possible July 21st cut off date. Okay, I am happy for those that received their referrals. I know you have waited long enough, but I have to admit I was sick to see just 8 days worth of referrals if that is indeed the official cut off.

So I am at this same crossroad once again. Do I even try to humor myself and say well next month will be better? Do I lie to myself? Do I live in denial with some fantasy that the CCAA will actually do a whole months worth of referrals?

I know I am not that far away. I know, or at least I hope I am, on the downhill side of the referral wait. November or December doesn't sound that far away, but right now.....today......it sounds like an eternity.

I tell myself I have been down this road before. I tell myself I had to wait for 16 months for my sons, but the thought of waiting that long again.....well it is just depressing.

I see all the excited people with their recent LIDs so thrilled and I remember how that was once me almost a year ago. I am still thrilled about my future daughter, please don't misunderstand. I know people will say the wait is for a special reason. I know they mean well. I know sometimes it seems to work out that way, but right now, this mom just wants her baby girl home.

So for all the recent referrals, congratulations to the new families! I am so thrilled your wait has almost ended and I can't wait for you to have your precious little ones home. For those still waiting, all I can think to say is we are one day closer to the end of our own wait.


Hmmmm, should I even hope that next month brings better news from the CCAA?

Happy Independence Day Ukraine

Today marks 15 years of freedom for Ukraine. Wow, only 15 years! Can one even imagine how this country was 25 years ago? It still seems lost between the past and the future ahead, but at least they have their freedom to celebrate. Of course their version of freedom seems so far away from what we have here in the US. Some of the old fear still lies within the people there, some have not forgotten the past, some never will.

But for this day, after years and generations of Ukrainians, you finally have your freedom.

Happy Independence Day!