Culture/Heritage views

The topic always seems to surface whenever adoptive parents get together, how much of their birth culture/heritage will you give/expose your child to? I know it is never a cut and dry answer. It never seems to be a black and white answer, but more shades of grey. I have pondered this question many times. I want my children to love their heritage because in my eyes, it will always be a part of them. On the other hand, do I shove it down their throats like an overstuffed burrito? Okay, I know a food analogy is never good, but you get my point. As small children, we make the choices for them and it is difficult to know when it may be too little or too much.

I have met parents that have made their homes somewhat of a shrine to their child's homeland. I think it is beautiful, but just not something I desire to do. I also have met parents that are the complete opposite. They seemed determined to forget their child's background and consider them nothing but full-blooded Americans. I guess I fall in between the two.

I have many keepsakes from my children's homeland. I have some displayed and some are stored away. Our family does and will celebrate holidays from the different homelands, not all, but the major ones. We are a multi-cultural family and I am extremely proud of that. I keep some traditions from my birth mom as well as my own mom's culture. It isn't always easy, but it works for our family.

I have heard some parents say they wouldn't do this or that, and that is their personal decision. I just feel like the children in the beginning have no choices, we make them. I want my sons and my daughter to be proud of where they came from. I want them to be able to explore their culture when they are older if that is their wish. I would love to be part of that journey with them. But how do children explore their culture if they are never exposed to it at an early age? If they don't grow up knowing, wouldn't it be strange to them to be exposed to it, let's say as a teenager?


After talking to a few parents that are on the extreme ends of the spectrum with this topic, I have come to my own personal conclusions. I am somewhere on middle ground. I want my children to be exposed to their own culture without having it pushed upon them. I want them to grow to love their heritage as much as I do. I want them to know that they are not labeled this or that, but are a beautiful blend of cultures. Certainly, there will be times when the lines blur and it is hard to recognize what is too little or too much, but the middle ground seems to be a good starting off point.